Wants and Needs
“‘Where does your sister live?’
‘Balham.’ He interjected a lot of derision into this one word so that I knew immediately he judged Balham is a place and possibly also judged her sister for living there.”
Title: Wants & Needs
Author: Roxy Dunn
Published: January 2026
A novel about coming of age when you thought you already had: a story about commitment and independence, about starting all over again, and finding different ways to love along the way
Independence seems to be drifting away from Misty. Just months ago, she was living with her fiancé and planning their life together. Now she’s single, back in her childhood bedroom, on crutches from knee surgery, and relying on her mother to help her with the smallest of tasks. This isn’t how thirty-two was meant to look.
When Misty turns to dating apps, she's immediately intrigued by charismatic, handsome Christopher – so intrigued that she doesn't even notice the acronym 'ENM' on his profile. By the time she discovers that it stands for 'Ethical Non-Monogamy' – and that the man with whom she feels such undeniable, dizzying chemistry, is in a long-term open relationship – she decides to give things a go.
And so Misty makes a pact with herself to date Christopher for the next six weeks while his partner is away. It’s all part of her plan: she wants to learn to become less attached, and to prepare herself for her next ‘real’ relationship. But is what she wants really what she needs?
Discussion Questions
1. The title of the novel asks us to consider the difference between wants and needs. How does the book explore this distinction through Misty’s relationship with Christopher? Do you think Misty believes his wants might eventually change to meet her needs and how moral is this?
2. Misty becomes involved in a relationship with Christopher knowing it cannot fully meet her needs. Why do you think she chooses to pursue it anyway? Does the novel portray this decision with empathy, frustration, or both?
3. The novel explores ethical non-monogamy through Misty and Christopher’s relationship. How does the book present this dynamic? Do you think it challenges or reinforces common assumptions about non-monogamous relationships?
4. Fear of loneliness appears to shape many of Misty’s decisions. How does the novel depict solitude and partnership, and what role does this tension play in the story?
5. After her breakup and surgery, Misty finds herself back in her childhood bedroom. What does this moment represent in the narrative, and how does it reflect the idea of adulthood as a non-linear journey in today’s economic?
6. The novel touches on contemporary dating culture, including dating apps and ambiguous relationship labels. How effectively do you think the book captures the realities of modern dating?
7. Christopher and Misty are open about what they want from their relationship, yet their expectations are very different. What does the novel suggest about whether honesty alone is enough to sustain a relationship?
8. The story has been described as a “coming-of-age in your thirties.” In what ways does Misty’s journey resemble a coming-of-age narrative?
9. Much of the novel focuses on Misty trying to understand herself outside of romantic partnership. How does the book explore the relationship between identity and romantic love?
10. By the end of the novel, do you think Misty has changed or grown? What do you think the novel ultimately suggests about love, independence and self-knowledge?
